So…things have been going great, Alexander in school, me at a new job. Then boom. I get diverticulitis once again. This time over labor day weekend. Alexander was at his dad’s so I had asked him to keep him a couple extra days and make sure he got too and from school. Well, he took that as I abandoned our child. He enrolled him in school in his town (an hour from me.) and refused to bring him back to me. I will try to make this as short as possible…but still give enough information so that you know what I went through…and in case anyone else ever has to go through this bullshit.
My local police refused to enforce the court ordered child custody. They said the best thing would be for me to go to that town and speak with that police department. Wow….really?
Can you at least call my ex and talk to my son? Do a welfare check on him? Something?
Dad has been super mentally unstable as of late and I was seriously concerned.
Days later…fighting back and forth with two different police departments, none of whom want to actually help me.
This started on September 5th. On September 11th, we had an emergency meeting with the judge where he ruled against any emergency orders, all standing orders were still in place and Alexander should be returned to me.
His dad refused. Now he is in violation of a court order. Again…nobody would help me to enforce this. Neither police department. His towns police station told me to return to them if he did not return him on the following Sunday (18th) as per court order. He didn’t…so I drove the hour down there at approximately 9 pm and with the assistance of five or so officers we went to his girlfriend’s apartment. Her car was in the parking lot, however they would not answer their phones or the door. I drove home after approximately four hours of these officers attempting, and failing to find out where my child was. Total violation of PC 278:
278. Every person, not having a right to custody, who maliciously
takes, entices away, keeps, withholds, or conceals any child with the
intent to detain or conceal that child from a lawful custodian shall
be punished by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one year,
a fine not exceeding one thousand dollars ($1,000), or both that
fine and imprisonment, or by imprisonment pursuant to subdivision (h)
of Section 1170 for two, three, or four years, a fine not exceeding
ten thousand dollars ($10,000), or both that fine and imprisonment.
278.5. (a) Every person who takes, entices away, keeps, withholds,
or conceals a child and maliciously deprives a lawful custodian of a
right to custody, or a person of a right to visitation, shall be
punished by imprisonment in a county jail not exceeding one year, a
fine not exceeding one thousand dollars ($1,000), or both that fine
and imprisonment, or by imprisonment pursuant to subdivision (h) of
Section 1170 for 16 months, or two or three years, a fine not
exceeding ten thousand dollars ($10,000), or both that fine and
(b) Nothing contained in this section limits the court's contempt
(c) A custody order obtained after the taking, enticing away,
keeping, withholding, or concealing of a child does not constitute a
defense to a crime charged under this section.
278.6. (a) At the sentencing hearing following a conviction for a
violation of Section 278 or 278.5, or both, the court shall consider
any relevant factors and circumstances in aggravation, including, but
not limited to, all of the following:
(1) The child was exposed to a substantial risk of physical injury
(2) The defendant inflicted or threatened to inflict physical harm
on a parent or lawful custodian of the child or on the child at the
time of or during the abduction.
(3) The defendant harmed or abandoned the child during the
(4) The child was taken, enticed away, kept, withheld, or
concealed outside the United States.
(5) The child has not been returned to the lawful custodian.
(6) The defendant previously abducted or threatened to abduct the
(7) The defendant substantially altered the appearance or the name
of the child.
(8) The defendant denied the child appropriate education during
(9) The length of the abduction.
(10) The age of the child.
(b) At the sentencing hearing following a conviction for a
violation of Section 278 or 278.5, or both, the court shall consider
any relevant factors and circumstances in mitigation, including, but
not limited to, both of the following:
(1) The defendant returned the child unharmed and prior to arrest
or issuance of a warrant for arrest, whichever is first.
(2) The defendant provided information and assistance leading to
the child's safe return.
(c) In addition to any other penalties provided for a violation of
Section 278 or 278.5, a court shall order the defendant to pay
restitution to the district attorney for any costs incurred in
locating and returning the child as provided in Section 3134 of the
Family Code, and to the victim for those expenses and costs
reasonably incurred by, or on behalf of, the victim in locating and
recovering the child. An award made pursuant to this section shall
constitute a final judgment and shall be enforceable as such.
EVERY SINGLE agency I have spoken to on the phone says this incident is NOT child abduction because he did not “flee”. Nowhere in this PC does it mention fleeing.
However, PC 207-209:
207. (a) Every person who forcibly, or by any other means of
instilling fear, steals or takes, or holds, detains, or arrests any
person in this state, and carries the person into another country,
state, or county, or into another part of the same county, is guilty
(b) Every person, who for the purpose of committing any act
defined in Section 288, hires, persuades, entices, decoys, or seduces
by false promises, misrepresentations, or the like, any child under
the age of 14 years to go out of this country, state, or county, or
into another part of the same county, is guilty of kidnapping.
(c) Every person who forcibly, or by any other means of instilling
fear, takes or holds, detains, or arrests any person, with a design
to take the person out of this state, without having established a
claim, according to the laws of the United States, or of this state,
or who hires, persuades, entices, decoys, or seduces by false
promises, misrepresentations, or the like, any person to go out of
this state, or to be taken or removed therefrom, for the purpose and
with the intent to sell that person into slavery or involuntary
servitude, or otherwise to employ that person for his or her own use,
or to the use of another, without the free will and consent of that
persuaded person, is guilty of kidnapping.
(d) Every person who, being out of this state, abducts or takes by
force or fraud any person contrary to the law of the place where
that act is committed, and brings, sends, or conveys that person
within the limits of this state, and is afterwards found within the
limits thereof, is guilty of kidnapping.
(e) For purposes of those types of kidnapping requiring force, the
amount of force required to kidnap an unresisting infant or child is
the amount of physical force required to take and carry the child
away a substantial distance for an illegal purpose or with an illegal
(f) Subdivisions (a) to (d), inclusive, do not apply to any of the
(1) To any person who steals, takes, entices away, detains,
conceals, or harbors any child under the age of 14 years, if that act
is taken to protect the child from danger of imminent harm.
(2) To any person acting under Section 834 or 837.
208. (a) Kidnapping is punishable by imprisonment in the state
prison for three, five, or eight years.
(b) If the person kidnapped is under 14 years of age at the time
of the commission of the crime, the kidnapping is punishable by
imprisonment in the state prison for 5, 8, or 11 years. This
subdivision is not applicable to the taking, detaining, or
concealing, of a minor child by a biological parent, a natural
father, as specified in Section 7611 of the Family Code, an adoptive
parent, or a person who has been granted access to the minor child by
a court order.
(c) In all cases in which probation is granted, the court shall,
except in unusual cases where the interests of justice would best be
served by a lesser penalty, require as a condition of the probation
that the person be confined in the county jail for 12 months. If the
court grants probation without requiring the defendant to be confined
in the county jail for 12 months, it shall specify its reason or
reasons for imposing a lesser penalty.
Ok, now my problem.
Whenever I am in front of officers, they are all in agreement that this clearly is a violation of PC 278…however when I leave his town and CALL someone….they all are telling me it is simply a violation of court order because he didn’t “flee”. This is the police departments telling me this, his and mine, and the District Attorney’s office.
We go to court tomorrow and I will have to fight like hell to protect my son. The tentative decision has been posted online and sadly the judge decided that no changes are to be made and he will not face any reprimands for violating court orders or for violating PC278.
I will go in and ask the judge first thing to please pull up PC 278, put it up on the wall and we will read it out loud together. Then I will ask exactly which part of what he did does not validate the fact that he violated this penal code.
I have been wanting pictures of when my ex beat me. I wanted them for my own reasons, but I also wanted them for here. I wanted to show you. I want to be able to show every girl who is stuck in a situation like this. I want to show the world. And I want to scream that I am a warrior and that I can make it out. The pictures are disturbing, and obviously a trigger. I hope that I did the link correctly. I am not posting these for “omg, I’m so sorry!” Nope…I’m posting these for “Screw you dude, I am way stronger than you are…..and every single time you do shit like this to me…you are making me even more stronger.”
Anyway.I’m going to go spend time with my son…get some good sleep (ha!) before tomorrow…and wake up ready to tackle him and court. I’m not backing down from some sort of punishment until the judge ORDERS ME to drop it. Who knows…maybe my next blog will be from jail.
Save ramen money. I have seriously lost my mind a few times this past month. Couldn’t function…major panic attacks. I’m having nightmares, can’t sleep worse then before…I was an absolute wreck until I got him back…and I will be again if he is able to take my son from me for visitation.
Please remember…graphic pic…trigger warning. And…scary part is…this wasn’t the worst beating. This was the most tame beating. This was right before he was taking Alexander to Texas to see Cheron (his sister) get married.
Please keep my son and I in your thoughts, prayers, juju, light, whatever….I need it. And tell these agencies that are supposed to help to get their heads out of their asses.